Month of Change

Well any of my regular blog readers which by the way I am finding their are more lurkers, who read my blog but don't comment then I realized. Which I am thankful for as I really thought the only one who ever read my blog was Rachael. LOL!!! Oh yeah back to what I was saying, as this seems to be the year of change for better or worse. I decided that I would change and update my blogs layout so it has been updated and looks all new and pretty.

I have a couple of people by the way that I wanted to include in this post that have become important in my life and I am not sure they are even aware. I have been acquaintances w/Jen Pettingill since college, I met Jen in 1990 through an old friend. She also got to be great friends w/Rachael through the same old friend. Now I have seen Jen pretty consistently over the last 10 years or so. We have always been friendly enough but somehow something began to change in the last year or so. I now regularly read her blog and try and keep updated on any new news going on in her life. I really look forward to knowing that she is coming up to visit and she has 2 of the sweetest little girls. She made the most heart felt and caring comment on my blog the other day and I wanted her to know how much it meant, to know someone is going through what we are at the moment. We have felt very isolated in this and have kept most of it quiet, I talked to few people about it all of which were my core friends of course but having someone understand and reach out made a huge difference in this week. It made me and my family not seem so low. So thank you Jen it might have been a little gesture on your part but was huge to us.

Someone else that for what ever reason has taken a silent seat is my friend Lesley. She is another friend I met through Rachael. Lesley has a rare and much appreciated humor. Even when things seem to be at their bleakest she can tell it in such a hysterical way, that you can't help but smile. I have some great memories of Lesley of a few past New Years parties that involved yoga and funny words on walls that still crack me up. Although she doesn't see it, she also may be one of the most creative people I know. From her quilts, to altering of items, her homemade hot cocoa. She is simply an amazing all around person that I have ever had the privilege of calling my friend. I am really hoping that this year will be the year of finding the time to spend more time w/her and her gorgeous daughter Kelsey.

It is funny, I know I have been overly sappy in a lot of my blogs this year. However, I am really going back and appreciating the small things. Really my over-all sense of any type of security in my life is slowly crumbling around me, So I have really tried to concentrate on what I do have that I truly call secure. That is certainly not a job, the house I live in, or even my car or anything material. Suddenly what has become important more than anything else that I am fiercely hanging onto w/every ounce of strength I have are #1 my family & #2 are my friends. I have always known deep down that these two things were important but for whatever reason this year, I am trying to let everyone know that they are important in my life and not just assuming they already know. See I can raise my family in any house, I can drive any car as long as I have my family and friends by my side.

Okay I think I need to stop writing my blogs at 1:30am I am way to emotional and sappy but I do love you all so oh well.